Guitar Hero….you bastard!

05 · 30 · 09

By @geekgirls

Guitar Hero, I never wanted you. I thought you were stupid, nay, ridiculous. I thought only losers, who didn’t possess the natural ability to play an actual musical instrument, would be your only friends. I thought that even if I could only muster notes through a kazoo, I would be better off without you. I thought that even if every video game for every system were to suddenly become discontinued for an uncertain amount of time and you were the last game that could be played, that I would still look the other way. Guitar Hero, I would have chosen any board game over you; Othello, Jacks, Pick up Stick. I would rather have been in a long deep sleep, induced by boredom than play with you. But, Guitar Hero, I was wrong…..terribly wrong.

It all started at a friend’s house, a secured environment and comfortable abode. Although my drunkenness was a viable excuse to pick you up, I cannot easily excuse the fact that I played you for hours, long after the alcoholic effects had worn off. We started out easy, I told myself only one song. I even rolled my eyes as I reluctantly pulled the strap over my head & let you rest on my shoulder. I should have stopped right there. I should have said no. But once I took control, once I let the beat flow, I was trapped. I was a prisoner to the challenge of each new song, of each new bridge I encounter. I couldn’t help myself. Guitar Hero, I became a junkie to your uncompromising play list and entrancing spectrum of virtual notes. 

Once I left the place where we had met, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I dreamt of your cold plastic body beneath my fingers, unaware that it was my will that moved you. I desired you, I needed to have you for my own and I started to loathe myself for succumbing to what we both knew was inevitable.

Now, with my wallet pining for what was taken away without consent or hesitation, you Guitar Hero are mine. You are my very own dirty little secret, sitting patiently in the corner, knowing that we can be one at any moment and anticipating who will make the first move. And it will always be me to begin, to start the intoxicating dialogue, to maintain the rhythm and you will never ask for any of it to cease. Guitar Hero, you have become my drug, my burden, and my greatest joy…and I f#@*ing hate you for it!!!!!!!


  1. Guitar Hero is just the gateway drug of plastic instrument bliss…Rock Band is the real deal!

  2. Oh yeah. Sounds like me and my Rock Band. With it, I am Queen of the Skins. No drummer who has lived, is alive or yet to be born can rival my mad drumming skills.
    And if you believe that, you need as much therapy as I do.

  3. I bought Rock Band, and I’m addicted. However, whenever I do get to play, no one lets me play the guitar, since I’m the only person that can manage to sing, I get forced to sing.. I want to play with my plastic guitar dammit!

  4. The same thing happened to me. I thought it was stupid but can’t stop playing it now. It’s the devil’s work! And when GH: Metallica came out? Bliss.

  5. Hi, my name is Erin, I am not even a gamer and I bought a PS2 just to play Guitar Hero. It’s kinda embarrassing how serious I get when I’m playing…it’s just me and the game. Maybe when I get better I will be able to be able to respond to outside stimuli while playing. I even bought a new Takamine the same week but I have played the Guitar hero more. God grant me the serenity blah blah blah

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