Book Review: I ♥ geeks

05 · 27 · 09

By @geekgirls

Although the title of this paperback book would suggest otherwise, after reading the introduction I realized I am NOT the target audience. This book, geared towards women who are dating or would like to date a geek guy, offers tips and instructions on how to better relate to a geek guy’s interests.

The book begins with a short questionnaire to determine what type of geek guy you are dating (i.e. video game geek, comic book/graphic novel geek, anime/manga geek, film/TV geek, sports geek, or sci-fi/fantasy geek). Although the author, Carrie Tucker, admits that the quiz is for “entertainment purposes only and full of sweeping generalizations,” those generalization become more frequent and less entertaining the further into the book I read.

Keeping in mind that I am not her target audience, I still found most of the book terribly insulting. Carrie seems to poke fun of aspects of geeks, although she consistently claims that she supports geeks and thinks geeks are “hot”. For example, the Evolution of Geeks diagram outlines a geek wearing thick rimmed glasses and high water pants while the Film and Television Geek diagram illustrates the geek holding his Darth Vader helmet from fifth grade. These failed attempts at cute humor are not only prevalent in her diagrams, but also throughout each chapter of the book.

In the 10 Things to Expect When You’re Dating A Geek or Nerd, Carrie advises that showering and communication might be an equally lacking skill. I have been hanging around and dating geeks since junior high and I can attest that personal hygiene and social skills should never be lumped into the same category. I actually don’t know any geeks that have serious issues with showering for that matter. In addition, social skills and wardrobe are again, a sweeping generalization. My geek guy taught me how to build websites, built my new pc from scratch (thanks to New Egg) and, on most occasions, can totally outshine me in outfit and social skills. I do know many guys, in general, that are shy and slightly introverted, but these types of outlined descriptions are just obnoxious.

In each chapter, Carrie suggests a wide range of beginner level resources in order to aid non-geek women to find common ground with her geek guy.  The Walking Dead, Ghost World, Brazil and MST3000 are all my favorites, but are awful suggestions for n00bs. First of all, I consider myself a fairly intellectual geek girl and I had to watch Brazil a few times before I really felt like I had absorbed Terry Gilliam’s wild imagery, satire and dark humor to the fullest. And there is only a small number of women I have met that can honestly relate (and the key word here is honestly) to a book like Ghost World. Even the movie, to a women who doesn’t truly understand what it means to be a comfortable outcast in the most awkward years of her life,  might possible come off as a simple story of two semi-depressed teenagers indulging in their own apathy for their summer vacation. If a woman, who hasn’t displayed any prior interest for dark comedy, satire, or fantasies, tries to review any of these resources in order to keep up in a “geeky” conversation, she will most certainly become the immediate target of ridicule.

It is apparent, however, that Carrie admires and appreciates the amazing qualities that set geeks apart from the rest of society – enthusiasm and passion. Her support of geek culture and attempts to bring a level of understanding to women on the outside of it, is commendable…just terribly executed.

I’m interested to read your views on this book as well, so please feel free to leave comments. If you haven’t read it and want to, I Love Geeks: The Official Handbook is available on Amazon.


  1. Yeah I’ve seen books like this and they just drive me crazy. VERY few of the geeks that I’ve dated are like this. I AM A geek, and find this rather offensive. I suppose if this is the generic geek yes you’re going to run into this, but I dunno if this is really the case anymore. If anything I find I have better relationships with geeks because we share similar interests.

  2. Judging only by the review, I’d say that Carrie Tucker needs an invite from Geekgirls to get into Twitter and hang with the real geeks for a while. C’mon, Geekgirls, reach out and teach this woman.

  3. I’m not really sure of how to respond to a book I’ve never read, but if your review is accurate? Bah. What kind of advice is “change yourself to attract the perfect partner”? How’s that healthy? There’s nothing wrong with being in the mainstream, just as there’s nothing wrong with being part of a subculture.

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